Jobless, and miserable, that’s what happening to me right
now. Actually I don’t even know what to say, it’s been a long time since the
last I post my entry into this blog of mine. When is it, last year? Last two
year? After 2010, i’ve been through a lot of thing, sometimes I’ve felt
blessed, sometimes not, and I don’t want to remember all the bad things that
had happen so far.
Well today I’ going to refresh my writing skill by writing about
my dreams and etc etc, as long as it is related. First of all, Job, like any
other college graduate, surely right after we got our degree, we wanna jump straight
into the world of ‘work’. And out of 100 people i dare say that the reason of
why they need to get a job, or should I say they were desperate to get a job (
surely it’ll be great if the job description match our qualification) is
because
1)
To pay bill of course, like me, at the moment i’m
jobless, currently depending on my unofficial source of income which is by
tutoring several kids from the age of 9 till 18 next door. The paid is quite
okay and it is the only way for me to pay my car loan and phone bills.
2)
Leisure, regardless what it is but as long as it
is something that help to make us feel ease from any burden and relieve us from
stress. In my case, I still can’t afford to do that right now. But i’ve got my
eyes and i’ve set it as my goal, i believe i’ll be able to achieve it next
year, alright my goal is to travel to south Korea, lately i’ve subscribe a lot
of online lesson on how to speak Korean, it’s sounds funny isn’t it? I’ve been
having this dream since my last trip to Sabah with my friends, oh well we are
going to Singapore this November, several month ago i was excited and eager to
look forward for the trip but now the feeling getting’s sour and... i don’t
know, maybe it just me, i bet that there’ll be a lot of exciting stuff wait for
us next month. But still, i determine to go to south korea, gradually learn to
speak a sentence or two but I believe mastering the language will not be a
problem for me. Imagine the beauty scenery when i got there somethere
(hopefully by the end of next year), climbing seorak mountain, going to Nami
Island, Jeju Island, having kimbab and kim chi, and then dance with the local
folks, at the same time I may probably met with several celebrities who live
nearby.
3)
China, the funny thing about this is, before we
plan our trip to Singapore, I’ve bought this piece of pocket map, which turns
out to be a giant map after I’ve unfold it several times. Beijing, Peking,
great wall of china, forbidden city. I’ll go there, i will be. In terms of
communication, no problem at all. Money? Well China and Korea currencies is a
little lower than Malaysian, still I figure that if I or we (perhaps I’ll with
friends, or you? Perhaps) will need to spend a hell lot of money in terms of
food and accommodation. Yeah money helps when it comes to help tourist
adapt/survive in other coutry/cultures ah whatever.
4)
Dating? Marriage? No comment, currently 27 years
old, and i’ve got a face that make people tend to underestimate me before they’re
dumbstruck by my own capabilities, and this matter has been proven again and
again and again, regardless in any kind of work field, I’m capable to surpass
any people in a short time, given if there’s a good reward or whether it is fun
to do. This may be funny but i got this feeling that I may find my bride, not
in this country, but from abroad. Hey that’s crazy but yeah, it’s just a
feeling. And it’s not a crime to have such dream eh?
5)
A friend of mine have bought a house, and
currently living a steady life and having an exciting job as lecturer. I felt
happy for him, really I do, for he graduate a year earlier than me but stranded
for about one or two year? Now i understand how miserable it is when a man
nearing 30 years old, jobless and still living in parents house. And worst of
all, single. Oh it’s so silly if anybody suggest or introduce me to somebody
when i’m still nobody, therefore a career is a must for a man, not only it
helps to put the food on the table, but also serve as a pride, something that
makes a man feel whole and awesome, maybe not complete but yeah, it helps any
man feels terrific. While I’m writing this, I heard my dogs barking at the
trash collectors in front of our house, oh yes I have dogs now, even got 3 of
them (originally I got 6 dogs, 1 fluffy cat and a canary). Previously I mention
that how I hate the dog so much to the point that I could hit them with my
safety boots, hit them with a club, or run them with a car. But now I love
them. They were so adorable. I guess that’s one thing that had change in me.
6)
My body has deteriorate for the past 2 years,
back in the day when I was a college student, almost every day I went for sport
and doing lots of exciting and extreme activities with colleague. Having a high
metabolism helps me having a great shape, but now my abs were no longer
visible, and my triceps were like tofu, every now and then whenever I try to do
some heavy work, I’m sweating and easily tired. And so I’ve decided to re-train
this body to become what it used to be. Certainly it ain’t going to be easy but
at least I’ve started. I had to point this out because whenever I went out to
meet an old friend, they surely mention about my ‘state’ like “oh hey, you’re
still the same old Deideian” or “ hey man, you’re still ____ as usual”. Sometimes
it makes me happy but mostly not, I eat a lot but won’t go fat, till now still
the same but not for my stomach, I’m starting to transform into an some grumpy old
fart. Money still played an important role to overcome this matter, we don’t
just work for the sake of having to pay bills and for leisure, we don’t just
simply want to maintain a healthy life either, we want to stay in the shape and
great at all time, regardless whether we go for muscle or fashion/accessory .
money still count
7)
I’m still thinking about reason number 7 but
still fail to get one, hahaha, I think
this is it, the reason why a man like me really need a job is the need to feel
secure, and for those who got girlfriend and planning to going to get marry,
they need a proper job in order to impress their mate, if you’re a soldier,
people will salute you according to your rank, if you’re some sort of senior
executive or a CEO in some big company, you will walk into your building,
accompany by dozens of bodyguard and you secretary and you assistant as well,
while walking through the corridor, your subordinate or worker will rise from
their chair and greet you “ good morning Sir” while you walk pass by them
wearing coat, and smoke an expensive cigar and nodded at them while saying “
keep the good work”. Your parent, your girlfriend or your spouse, and event
your children must be very proud of you. You have money, and even more
important, Position, a rank that symbolize you as an important person, a big
shot indeed. That’s what i aim for, and even more than that.
8)
Oh I’m surprise that I still got something to
write in here, just now i remember about my dream, either it is a delusion or a
dream oh whatever, it’s about what will happen to me several years later, maybe
10 years to come, I am successful, in terms of job and life, and in that dream
I don’t even know what’s my job is, or maybe I own a business? Then after
making lots of money, I add in another property of mine, since I got a lot kind
of property, this time I buy a horse ranch, or even better, a vast land, filled
with many kind of exotic animal, like in new Zealand, then I buy 10 to 20 horses,
and a chopper, i mean a helicopter, and all that stuff I present it to my
father as a gift, I present him the best stallion, and several cabins for him
and my mother and also for guess, I buy him several new toys like hunting
riffle, or even better, a sniper, and lots of bullets, night vision goggle for
him and perhaps for his friend in future whenever they plan to go for hunting.
9)
For my mother, I’ll put her name as a chairlady
for several company of mine, i let her have fun managing the business since she
love to sell things and stuff, oh yeah she’s a merchant currently. Or, if she refuses,
then me and my future wife should word harder, in order to give them a
grandchildren or two to play with. Oh how I love that idea very much hahaha..
my parents were getting old day by day, I realise this dream although it sounds
imposibble and ridiculous, somehow deep inside me, I can feel it, I know i can
make something for them, at least not now.. now i’m still a bad egg, unwanted
and unlove by any employer who don’t even care to spend a time to take a look
over my CV, perhaps there’s something that they want but I do not have it, but
I’m a very fast learner as long as the job is exciting, adventurous, and of
course.... legal. Perhaps they need someone with experience, oh hey with all
the job in the world require experience, then the rate of employment among the
undergraduates will be piling up. And imbalanced within the country system,
regardless whether it is political or not, will crumble. Oh well, that’s the
reason why human need mistake, someone will rise and become hero, when things
gone smooth, someone need to throw in the stone to make the water ripple. And the
shockwave hits the people like us.
10)
Self pride, right you see, whenever I met with
somebody or any old friend who’re long time didn’t see, they surely ask ‘that’
question. I don’t blame them since i used to ask that kind of question too, and
I still does. That simple phrase but hurting the man’s pride were “hey, what
you doing right now?” or “where do you work right now?” or “do you still living
with your parent?” or any other sentence but this is the best I can think of
right now. Years ago when I still work with construction company, although
living with stress day by day, but I’m proud with my job, then I became a
teacher, a sub teacher for two school, I felt awesome and respected, the word ‘busy’
make me happy, for being busy means you’re given a ‘trust’ to do something
important.
I think that’s it for today, perhaps there’ll be lots of
grammatical error but I don’t care, my eyes getting tired and closing up and
good nite, let’s sleep although the night still young.
